Geburtsbericht Leslie Anton, *10.November 2009

My experience with Gabriele started with her first visit to us after we had established that Susanne was probably pregnant. Thinking back I am reasonably sure that Susanne showed me the test strip around about thebeginning of May. I was, of course, overjoyed with this positive test. Particularly because Susanne had lost twins, probably in the 13th week, the previous December, but also because I had recently come to the conclusion that becoming a father was of significant importance to me.

There followed a lot of discussion between the two of us about how the pregnancy should progress. I had read Lynn McTaggart's “What doctors don't tell you” (highly recommended for those who, like me, have become suspicious of modern medicine and its reliance on the claims of purely financially-interested pharmaceutical concerns), and were determined to allow no unnecessary intrusions which could possibly endanger the foetus. Susanne had researched the internet to find a midwife who would fulfil our requirements, found and duly invited Gabriele to come and meet us. It was important to us that we were also the right “customers” for our midwife!

Gabriele came to meet us and we seemed to hit it off right from the start. She was entirely sympathetic to our requirements for a natural birth, and recommended certain actions we should take. One of which was a pre-natal seminar to prepare us for the birth itself. We were one couple of seven or eight others, who had also been recommended to take part. What I found very surprising was the fact that we were the only pair planning to have their baby born at home. All the other mothers-to-be had already decided (all of them in their sixth or seventh month) to have their babies in a hospital of their choice. The brainwashing of their GP had been quite successful, and I found it somewhat embarrassing to listen to their reasons as to why they didn't want to have their baby delivered at home. In retrospect some of the things we did immediately prior to the birth would have been simply impossible in a hospital or birthing house. Gabriele was totally unconcerned about the fact that Susanne was getting on for 40, or that I was already 58. The main thing was that we were both healthy in mind and body. We promptly put ourselves completely in her hands and Susanne didn't even visit a doctor during the entire pregnancy. Our curiosity about the baby's sex was relatively low, so there was no urge to take the added risk of an ultrasound examination. (Despite claims to the contrary ultrasound has never been proved to be 100% safe for the foetus, which can actually be seen to recoil from the ultrasound source during an examination!) We truly only did want a healthy baby. Its sex was unimportant.

According to Gabriele the pregnancy progressed with textbook monotony, except that for us it was extremely exciting. We had our own personal problems with both the business we were planning and our private relationship, but we were able to iron all these out well before the due date. This, by the way, was kept a close secret. Gabriele had worked out a due date according to Susanne's menstrual cycle, but had recommended that we keep the information to ourselves and simply tell anyone who asked that the “birth-zone” would be between the middle of October and the end of November. This was a brilliant suggestion, which freed us from the interminable questions about the birth being early, late, or whatever. Unfortunately it didn't stop the doom-sayers from telling us about all the possible things that could go wrong, especially when they heard that, to cap it all, we intended that the baby be born at home! We put 100% of our faith in Gabriele and were rewarded with 100% success.

As the deadline drew near, so the periods betweens Gabriele's visits declined. After every visit I was able to attend I felt my confidence had been boosted even more. She seemed to radiate an aura of quiet self-assurance, which calmed any reservations I might have had. Her advice was always practical and prompt. Her attention to detail was exemplary. We constantly congratulated ourselves that we had made this choice!

At last the day arrived when I woke to find Susanne standing at the side of our bed looking somewhat concerned. I asked what was up and she replied that she felt that our baby wanted to come that day as the labour contractions were getting closer. When I asked how close, she replied “Every 15 to 20 minutes.”. I told her that I would nevertheless go to work (106 km!) as there was still some more time to go before things got critical. I left for work as usual at 6.15 a.m. Around 9 Susanne called me to say that the contractions were now coming every ten minutes, so I decided to return to our flat. When I got there at about 11 I asked whether she had contacted Gabriele as I had requested. No, but the contractions were still coming at ten minute intervals. When I heard this I decided to go and do a bit of shopping after having made Susanne some green tea. I think it was really because I wanted to keep everything calm and show Susanne that there was no need to get over-excited and that everything was going according to plan. Anyway, I got back about 1.30 and we decided to phone Gabriele to find out what she thought. Susanne had called earlier and left a message on the answer-phone, but we hadn't heard from her. Gabriele came just before 2.30, by which time the contractions were coming every five minutes, or so. We spent a few minutes discussing strategy and Susanne started looking for the right place for the birth. In between contractions we tried the living room, the bedroom and the bathroom. For some reason we left the kitchen out of the range of choices! When the contractions became more uncomfortable Susanne knelt on the bed hugging one of those big sit-on plastic balls, but when Gabriele saw this she took the ball away and went on all fours so that Susanne could lie across her back. The next time a contraction came I took her place and had tremendous satisfaction in feeling that I was able to do something constructive instead of just standing around boiling water, for no apparent reason, and generally looking like part of the furniture! I was then able to offer this service right up until the moment the birth started. Susanne was quite restless, always getting up and wandering about until the next contraction started, as if she could not make up her mind about where to have the baby. Even the bathtub came under scrutiny. Gabriele had inspected this during one of her visits and declared it acceptable for a water-birth, if that was what we wanted. We had considered getting one of those portable water-birth-pools, and discarded the notion after getting approval for our own bath. Anyway, Susanne's trial run in the bath on the day didn't evoke much enthusiasm from any side so we all retired back to the bedroom.

When the contractions started coming every 30 seconds, or so, we all retired to the end of our bed with me sitting on the head-end and Susanne in my arms, half sitting on the birthing stool Gabriele had brought with her. Gabriele herself was sitting on the bedroom floor, with splayed legs, carefully observing the progress of the baby out of Susanne's cervix. I, of course, from my position could not see any of this, but I could hear Gabriele's comments and see her face quite clearly. This was very comforting for me, as Susanne was becoming very restless. Several times Gabriele told her quite firmly to “Come back and sit down!”, as she seemed to be on the point of jumping up and running away. At one point it became obvious that Susanne was having difficulty letting go of the baby. It seemed that she wanted to keep the child within her, as it had been for the previous nine months. I held her firmly and began whispering in her ear “relax, relax relax,...” , Gabriele also uttered words of encouragement, and slowly Susanne's tension began to disappear.

Suddenly she gave a great heave in conjunction with one of the contractions and the baby was out and lying in Gabriele's hands. Blood-smeared, tightly closed eyes, and perfectly shaped limbs it was, to me, the most beautiful object I had ever seen in my life. I now cannot remember how he (we saw quite quickly that it was a boy!) started crying, but the plaintive wailing tore at my heart strings and tears filled my eyes whilst my throat choked. Susanne lay back on the bed, utterly exhausted from her efforts. Somehow the placenta was then there and Gabriele deftly wrapped this up so that it could be easily handled until there was no further need and the umbilical could be severed, which I did under direction from our wonderful midwife. Then I was allowed to hold my son. I quickly literally ripped off my shirt so that we could have body contact, and wept for joy as I took him in my arms and held him close to my breast. What a feeling that was! And then I was allowed to put the first nappy on him. Wow! All the while accompanied by Gabriele's superb guidance and advice. Then came a mild panic while I looked for the camera! I am amazed at the quality of the pictures considering how much I was shaking at the time. As always there were simply not enough of them, but we were “drinking in” our new-born son, and taking lots of pictures seemed somehow superfluous, almost obscene. All we wanted to do was experience these wonderful moments in real-time. Now we treasure the memories of those first few minutes and hours with Leslie Anton, and nothing is lost because we don't have a surfeit of pictures of him. On the contrary, the value of the memories increases every time we think and talk about this precious event in our lives.

It is now 18 weeks since our golden boy was born and sometimes it seems like only yesterday. Gabriele accompanied us for several weeks, visiting us first on a daily basis, checking on the progress being made by mother and child, and then at longer intervals. We obviously needed to be weaned from her, as Leslie Anton will have to be weaned off mother's milk sometime in the future. It was a difficult process for me. I had begun to rely on Gabriele, and her gems of wisdom, more than I had realised and so it was for the better that my umbilical was also severed. Now I have the confidence of experience and can cope on my own with just about anything that Leslie Anton needs. I still miss the contact with our favourite midwife, her practical advice and her sensible suggestions, and am consoled with the thought that she is just at the other end of the telephone, should I need her in the future.

Andie B.